1 year later!

Last year was a big year for me! I got engaged last March, bought a house in May, and was busy all summer planning my wedding for that September. At the end of August, I was in a rut, a rough place. I didn’t know what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. I had been a nanny most of my adult life and although I still adore children, I was ready to be my own boss, do my own thing. I didn’t know where to start to figure out something I would love to do. I had tried Beauty School in 2009 but ended up hating it. (Yes! I am a Beauty School drop out!) I didn’t have the extra money to experiment to see what I would enjoy doing and I never really had a hobby or loved any one thing in particular.

I would love to sit here and write that it all started with a film camera in 1995…but it didn’t! It all started because I didn’t have a clue what I wanted to do with my life! I had owned a camera a few years ago, a nice one but nothing like I have now! I loved my camera then but had no idea how to use it and no idea how to find someone to let me photograph them…so I sold it!

I tossed the idea back and forth. Would it be something that I would love? Would this $1,000 investment be worth it? I had convinced my grandmother that I wanted a camera for my wedding gift! She fell for it and I fell in love with my camera and photography almost instantly!

Over the next few weeks I took hundreds of pictures of things around my house. To this day, when my dogs see my camera….they run! They know what I’m up to. I researched my butt off trying to learn everything I could about the camera and about photographing people!

I knew that ultimately I wanted to photograph people. Especially weddings and newborns! I was so embarrassed that my family would not support me. That they would think it was another silly idea. I thought long and hard about whom to ask to be my first model. I needed someone unique and someone comfortable in front of the camera. Someone who could give ME direction! I also wanted someone that had a look that would appeal to other people.

I had known Kelby for a while. Thought I didn’t know her personally, my sister and Chelsea did. Kelby loves to sing! She has the coolest style and wore cowboy boots! I LOVE cowboy boots. So, last September, I sat in the parking lot of the school where I was picking up the girl I nanny for, and I sent Kelby a message on Facebook asking if she was interested. She was so excited that I had asked her.

That weekend we decided we would go on this…adventure! I was so nervous when we started. I still remember the first place we went and the first picture I took! We went out for almost 4 hours and I probably took 500 pictures. I didn’t know a darn thing about my camera but I was snapping my heart out!

That night I went home and uploaded the pictures to find that my camera was focusing on the BACKGROUND! NONE of my pictures were in focus. I cried! How could I tell this girl, who was just as excited as I was…that I didn’t get any good pictures? Luckily, she completely understood that I was just starting out. So, the next weekend, we went out again! I did get a few shots that time but I never figured out what was wrong with my camera so the problem never got fixed.

On the day of my wedding, I took my camera to the church! I was more worried about not forgetting my camera then I was about anything important for the wedding!

That brings me to Desiree! She is probably the most important person in my adventure as a “Photographer.” Desiree fixed my camera and I was back in the game! (I still don’t know what I did to my settings to cause the problem and I still don’t know what she did to fix it.)

After my wedding, I didn’t take many pictures. I was embarrassed for some reason to let people know that I had wanted to be a photographer. It took me a really long time to let people know that I had found something I loved. I wish I didn’t feel that embarrassment. I wish that I was totally confident. I wish that I could have walked around, with my head held high and told everyone,” this is something I like and I’m going to try it. Don’t judge me, just support me.”  I didn’t want to let anyone down like I had with beauty school, so I didn’t tell many people.

I have to give so much credit to Desiree. She has helped me more in my journey more than anyone. She went from being my wedding photographer that lived an hour away to one of my friends. When I have a problem, a concern or a question; she ALWAYS helps me, with my hesitations. If I didn’t have her, I would have probably given up. I am sad to say that but her guidance has helped me push through. She is truly a great person and these days that is rare to find! Thank you Desiree for everything!

It has been around a year since I have started photographing people. I have upgraded my camera and have invested in more equipment. I know now that I have found something I loved to do. I always tell Angel, “If I could photograph a wedding every Saturday and 2 photo shoots every other day of the week, I would!” Because I love it! I love seeing my work framed and hung up! I get butterflies of excitement when I see one of my pictures as someone’s profile picture on Facebook. I know that I am heading in the right direction!

I know that I have a long way to go and I have a lot to learn. I think that my awareness of that will only help me.  My goal for this time next year is to photograph double the weddings I did this year, to have a studio outside of my home, to improve my skills and to be a name around town as one of the best photographers!